DIAMONDS & HORSEHIDE: See You in 2093

Instead of an actual lunch, I devoted my lunch break to walking over the the White Sox World Championship Celebration Extravaganza that jammed up Wacker and LaSalle. It was a curious place to hold such an event, but I guess it's easier to get public streets at the last minute. (They wanted to hold it on Grant Park on Monday, but I guess all the players' leases end on October 31, so that wasn't good timing.)

In some respects, it wasn't as crowded as I anticipated. I was able to get as close as Clark Street, which is only a block away. On the other hand, I couldn't see anything, and the only thing I could hear was the occasional cheer from the crowd that was actually close to the podium. I'm fairly certain I can figure out how it went.

PLAYER: "But we couldn't have done this without all the fans here in Chicago!"

CROWD: "YAY!!!"

(Repeat 25 times.)

I'm still not entirely certain I believe it. I think it will truly sink in, I mean really hit people, the first time the Cubs and Sox play each other in 2006. Then the gravity of this is really going to hit people.

You see, Boston rode that whole 86-year losing streak based on one simple premise: we're so sad. This isn't about curses. It's about crafting a whole self-image based upon Murphy's Law. The purity of fandom rooted in the Book of Job. So for them, winning does truly feel like a great light has finally shone upon them. It's like being released from Devil's Island.

Of course, Boston used to have a rivalry. Well, another team, anyway, until the Braves packed up and moved to Milwaukee. But I'll bet if the Braves had stuck around, they would have turned out a little more like Chicago. Because Chicago's baseball teams have never resorted to being outright sad-sacks. Sure, the Cubs are lovable losers, and the Sox are tainted by cheating, but that never defined their status in town.

No, in Chicago, it's all about being for one team and being against the other. Consider that, until two nights ago, one city had the top two longest runs without a World Series crown. (We're also the longest without a Stanley Cup.) So no one team had a monopoly on being pathetic. So what's left? The other guy. As long as you're better than him, life is good.

This rivalry has been fought to a standstill. It's like the Cold War. Neither the Cubs nor the Sox truly dominated when it came to losing. But now...now there's a clear winner. The Sox really did win. Which means that the Cubs must really, really be the most pathetic. They're The Biggest Loser.

So that first Cubs-Sox game should be very interesting. Because now, when the fans yell at each other that the opposition sucks...one of them will actually be right.

Still pretty weird, though. I've lived in Chicago for almost 10 years, but I never really thought I would see a World Series in this town. And I certainly thought that if they actually did win a Series here, the resulting conflagration would rival the Great Fire of 1871. Boy, is my face red.

Your World Champion Chicago White Sox. Holy crap.