Last week, I got my first Nevada state quarter. There it is, over there on the right. Give it a looksee.
On the whole, I'm really enjoying the 50 State Quarters program. I'm not really a numismatist, save for a failed attempt in my youth to collect every single Bicentennial quarter in existence. (Being six at the time, I failed to appreciate the momumental task I had set for myself. Not long ago, I found a small container of Bicentennial quarters that I had evidently squirreled away from that time. I was a stupid child.) But the idea of each state having the chance to showcase themselves in a single image appeals to me. I'm pedantic, and this is a pedantic project. We're made for each other. I always check my change now to see if I got anything new. It took me nine months to finally get an Oregon quarter. Frankly, I'd like us to annex some more states just so we can keep this going. Come on. Five more will get us a whole year. Here's let me help: DC, Puerto Rico, Guam, Virgin Islands, and...um...oh, Iraq, I guess.
Unfortunately, the states are really blowing it. Take a look at that Nevada quarter. I saw that and I thought one thing: the cover of some girl's Trapper Keeper.
I mean, seriously. Frolicking horses? I especially love the disconnect, seeing those horses and reading "The Silver State". Are they silver horses? Are they all the Lone Ranger's horse Silver? What the hell?
A quick glance at the U.S. Mint's entry on Nevada reveals that none of the finalists incorporated anything even remotely connected to what we really think of Nevada. Specifically, gambling and atomic testing. And that's fair. A state has the right to idealize itself. But this image is so generic, so devoid of context, that you wonder why they bothered. At least a little mushroom cloud in the background would havbe grounded the image. But these horses look like they're My Little Ponies all grown up. This is the quarter for the great state of Little-Girl-and-Her-Horseland.
It's shocking how many states are screwing this up. The worst is probably the one worked up for the great state of Texas. Consider: this is the second-largest state in the union. Once an independent country. Six flags have flown over its soil. The home of ranching, oil, and the space program. Remember the Alamo. Everything is bigger and bolder in Texas. Proud, even arrogant, and most of all, not to be messed with. And how do we represent all that Texas has to offer. Like this. Please allow me to slip into a little Texan parlance to express my feelings: Bullshit. What a crock. Thanks for phoning it in, Texas. Given the chance to promote the rich, proud history of a dramatic land, what do they give us? Clip art.
I realize that it's hard to summarize a state in a single image. There are many ways to handle this.
- Some states, like Delaware, California, and Illinois, have chosen a person to represent them, hoping that this one person's greatness will speak for the potential of every person to spring from their soil. (Special kudos to Illinois for representing the modern age with the Hancock, instead of the Sears Tower. The Hancock's way better.) Alabama intriguingly chose someone unexpected, neatly deflecting the stereotype for what a typical denizen of Alabama would be like.
- Some states look for a landmark to represent them. In many cases, like New York or the forthcoming South Dakota quarter, the choice is so obvious is to be inevitable. Others, like that of Maryland, may not mean anything to you at all. Which makes you look it up, I guess, so that's a plus. One of my favorites, the Old Man on the Mountain in New Hampshire, has since collapsed. So there's no accounting for permanence.
- Bridges are big. Don't believe me? Just visit Rhode Island. Or West Virginia. If only New Jersey had a bridge, they wouldn't have had to row.
- Some states turn to industry. You're not going to find a better example than Wisconsin, which hilariously arranges a cow, an ear of corn, and a wheel of delicious cheese in a still life over the state motto: "Forward." On, cow! And you're not going to find a worse example than Tennessee, which rounded up any instruments it could find and stuck them together. Is Tennessee renowned for its trumpet players? Hmm, Grand Ole Opry, Elvis...um, nope. And a tip of the hat to Indiana, for proudly putting a race car on their quarter. America loves cars, so someone ought to represent. Michigan sure blew it.
- Some states copy from each other. Sure, North Carolina is the place where the Wright Brothers flew the very first plane. So they should have the Flyer. But wait! The Wright Brothers are from Ohio! And you know who else was? John Glenn! And Neil Armstrong! Screw you, North Carolina! The Buckeye State gets the Flyer, and an astronaut, too! Which was probably a real bummer for Florida, the only state actually launching people into space. They had to settle for the Shuttle, which is evidently about to land on a Spanish galleon. Oops.
The best quarters seem to capture a way of life. The quarter for Kentucky has unusual depth, contrasting a historic mansion with a proud thoroughbred horse, neatly encapsulating the state's antebellum heritage, as well as the huge role of the horse breeding and racing industries. It looks like Kentucky.
The lighthouse on Maine's quarter is evidently a specific historic lighthouse, but that doesn't matter. Just think about where Maine is, and you imagine looking out to the sea. And the four-masted schooner gives a little historical context, too. Especially since it's about to get flattened by the space shuttle.
But my favorite probably remains Vermont. Even after only 13 other state quarters, Vermont's had the makings of a classic. There's a hint of industry (the big maple syrup concerns must have been thrilled). And there's the way of life thing, with the tree tapper clearly braving the elements. But truly? It's just a pretty picture. That one guy, amidst the towering trees, with the dramatic mountains in the background...it's just a great picture. And it makes you want to see Vermont. I can't think of another quarter that has had that effect. There are 14 quarters to go, but I don't think Vermont is going to be topped.
My home state of Arizona is almost certain to put the Grand Canyon on their quarter. It's a no-brainer. But I hope they at least try and make it interesting. Because it's gonna be a long time before we get the State Dollar Project to clean up this mess.
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